A Healthy Pregnancy Guide for Expecting Mothers

“Do I really have to eat food for two now?”,

“Can I exercise?”,

“Why am I so tired all the time”,

“Is this even good for me and my baby?”.

An expecting mother has a lot of questions in her mind. What to do and what not to do, she is always stuck between these questions while everyone around shares their own unsolicited tips and tricks.

The parenting professionals from We Positive Parenting, offering prenatal guidance in Ahmedabad have come up with this health guide for mothers-to-be

What should you do as a soon to be mother?

1) Have a healthy diet

An expecting mother should eat 5 to 6 meals every day. And these meals should be well-balanced.

A nutritious and well-balanced diet includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and iron-rich food, that includes protein, vitamin A, C & D, calcium, potassium, folic acid, iron and adequate fat etc. They are as below:

Vegetables	Fruits	Dairy
Beans	Mangoes	Fat-free milk
Peas	Bananas	Low-fat yogurt
Carrots	Apricots	Skimmed or 1% milk
Sweet Potatoes	Oranges	Soy milk
Pumpkin
Spinach

Aim to drink at least eight or more cups of water each day. Remember, avoid overeating as an expecting mother’s body needs only 300-500 additional calories per day. Moreover, avoid coffee as increasing dose of daily caffeine intake during pregnancy has been associated with an increased risk of miscarriage as well.

Maintaining a food diary can be very helpful.

2) Exercise regularly, but don’t overdo it!

It is completely safe for an expecting mother to do basic exercises regularly. Many mothers-to-be fear increasing the risk of miscarriage, low birth weight, or early delivery due to exercising and end up avoiding them completely. We suggest you take the guidance of your doctor and gynaecologist and start working out as advised by them.

Experts suggest brisk walking, water workouts, and cycling on a stationary bike as some of the safest exercises for pregnant women. Remember do not exercise out in the open. Wear loose clothes and workout in a temperature-controlled room to avoid becoming overheated. Consume an ample amount of water post workout every time.

3) Get enough sleep & rest

Pregnancy can be physically tiring and mentally draining. Mothers often complain of lack of sleep due to the discomfort from the changes occurring in their body.

Ample sleep is very important for the mother and the offspring.Kathy Lee, a professor of nursing at the University of California San Francisco studied how pregnancy affects sleep. In the conclusion of her study she stated that to assure adequate sleep, health care providers should prescribe 8 hours of bed time during pregnancy.

In order to get good sleep, develop a relaxing bedtime routine. Try to avoid electronics for at least an hour before you go to sleep and use a maternity pillow to support your back and knees while doing so. Yoga and mindfulness meditation also help in getting good sleep.

To avoid having leg cramps while sleeping, consume a lot of water. Apart from that try to limit caffeine intake in the diet as it reduces total sleep time and efficiency.

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Helpful Tips for Raising Happy Kids as a Single Parent

In the last 4 years, India’s single parent households almost doubled from 4% in 2015 to 7.5% in 2020. The United Nations report on ‘The Progress of the World’s Women 2019-2020: Families in a Changing World’ stated that 7.5% of Indian households are headed by single parents, of whom the majority is managed by single mothers.

One can only imagine the kind of pressure and baggage these parents have on their shoulders while bringing up their children without the help of a partner. And to help them in their endeavours, the parenting experts at Ahmedabad’s We Positive Parenting, have some tips for single parents, pre-occupied by social, economic and emotional distress. These tips will help them to try and stop these problems from snowballing into mental health issues.

Let go of the guilt & feel more confident

A single parent will always have a sense of guilt in their hearts; the feeling of being unable to do the right thing for your children or of failing to give them the perfect life they deserve. Our advice is to make peace with the past. Blaming yourself for the situation will only make it worse.

Let go of the guilt and remind yourself of the reasons behind your choices. Every time the thought in your mind starts with, I feel bad about ……….., stop right there and restart the thought with, I made that decision because ………

This simple exercise will help you move forward. Studies have reported that single mothers are at a threefold risk of depression as compared to married mothers. This, because the constant feeling of guilt could force you into being a loner. Surround yourself with people you trust, with whom you can share your experiences with and feel better.

Create a schedule

We can’t control what happens to us, so it is better to focus on the things we can control as a parent. Set a clear picture in your mind, a proper plan to achieve the goals for you and your children, in order to build a better future together.

You can start small by creating a daily routine. And eventually to draft long term goals like managing your money more effectively and improving your co-parenting relationship with your former partner, if required. Patrice Karst, the well known author of The Single Mother’s Survival Guide (Crossing Press, 2000), writes in her book that, “Having goals, no matter how modest, can keep your spirits up and keep you moving forward.”

Your schedule must include two things for sure:

– Some time to spend with your children.

– Some “Me Time” to exercise regularly, catch up with friends or even seek professional counselling from a parenting expert.

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5 reasons why you shouldn’t hit your child

Don’t answer back, else I’ll give you a tight slap!

This has been the standard reaction from parents towards their children, when they respond back with denial or defy their advice and ideas. What parents from that generation never understood is that this style of disciplining can have serious effects on their children for the longest time.

A study on Effective Discipline to Raise Healthy Children published in the Journal of American Academy of Pediatrics further states that physical punishment is linked to an increased risk of negative behavioural, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children.

Let’s look at why corporal punishment, or hitting children to discipline them is not the right way, and some words of advice from Ahmedabad’s best parent counsellor at We Positive Parenting

a) Corporal punishment weakens the bond between the parent & child

Hitting a child will never teach that the road they are on is unsafe. It instead plants the seed in their mind that the person hitting them is unsafe to be with. This is one of the reasons why children who were brought up with corporate punishment start distancing themselves from their parents as they grow up.

It is human nature to dislike someone who hurts. Hence, when a parent hits their child, it drives an emotional wedge between them. The practice may look like it’s working on the child. But it only produces superficial good behaviour in the child, which is born out of fear. When parents showcase their authority on the basis of fear, the child tends to lose respect for them.

On the other hand, a bond based on love, respect and empathy grows stronger with time.

b) It makes children more aggressive

The Bandura’s Bobo doll experiment conducted to study the Impact of observed violence on children’s behaviour showed that children imitate or copy the aggressive behaviour of adults around them. If they see an adult acting aggressively, they are likely to act aggressively even when the adult model is not present. This means, when parents hit their child, the child can become a hitter eventually. Moreover, when kids or teenagers are not able to get even with their parents, they take their aggression out on others.

Hence, it is important for parents to set an example of empathy, towards them and others, in front of their kids.

c) It harms the self-esteem of the children

“Stop crying or I’ll hit you again”.

When children hear such comments from their parents, they tend to feel helpless. Their self-worth is damaged by the actions of their parents as they feel like their cries for help are being ignored and they are being humiliated by the people who are supposed to love and protect them. They not only feel betrayed but also feel like they don’t have any control over their own life.

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Step parenting, the one where it takes more than two to tango

Just when we thought parenting is the toughest job in the world, imagine the situation of a step-parent. It is a complicated endeavour to step into a family that already established its roles, and to develop a bond that’s already fraught with either non-acceptance or disenchantment from the other members of the family and especially the children. A step-parent is already starting on the back-foot and it could be scary, tricky and at times also infuriating.

But it also means to have a second shot at love, acceptance and family life. A family with a step parent and step children can lead a harmonious life when all the stakeholders play their part with empathy and respect. Here’s how…

Blurring old boundaries and building new bonds

When a new spouse enters the picture, they must create a sense of openness, to accept new things, new challenges and of course the new members of his/her family. It is important to develop a warm, friendly communication with the children of their partners. This can be done by showing interest in their lives, their interests and their needs.

This will be possible when the biological parent in the family acts as the bridge between the children and the new spouse. They help calm the frayed nerves, clear the confusions, fill the gaps in communication and build a common ground. It has to be a combined effort from both the partners, keeping in mind the overall wellbeing of the child.

And in cases of remarriage, it is advisable that the new spouse build a healthy relationship with the former partner. This, because children are hardwired to lean towards their biological parents for their needs. So, alienating them from their lives would be detrimental to the new relationship.

Establishing respect and admiration for each other

Another important factor to ensure a smooth transition of the new spouse into the family is to establish respect for each other, between the parent and the child. The new partner should respect the boundaries of the child, make efforts in being present in their lives, but not being intrusive. Yes, it is tough in the beginning, but with time and practice, the mutual admiration will only blossom.

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