In the last 4 years, India’s single parent households almost doubled from 4% in 2015 to 7.5% in 2020. The United Nations report on ‘The Progress of the World’s Women 2019-2020: Families in a Changing World’ stated that 7.5% of Indian households are headed by single parents, of whom the majority is managed by single mothers.
One can only imagine the kind of pressure and baggage these parents have on their shoulders while bringing up their children without the help of a partner. And to help them in their endeavours, the parenting experts at Ahmedabad’s We Positive Parenting, have some tips for single parents, pre-occupied by social, economic and emotional distress. These tips will help them to try and stop these problems from snowballing into mental health issues.
Let go of the guilt & feel more confident
A single parent will always have a sense of guilt in their hearts; the feeling of being unable to do the right thing for your children or of failing to give them the perfect life they deserve. Our advice is to make peace with the past. Blaming yourself for the situation will only make it worse.
Let go of the guilt and remind yourself of the reasons behind your choices. Every time the thought in your mind starts with, I feel bad about ……….., stop right there and restart the thought with, I made that decision because ………
This simple exercise will help you move forward. Studies have reported that single mothers are at a threefold risk of depression as compared to married mothers. This, because the constant feeling of guilt could force you into being a loner. Surround yourself with people you trust, with whom you can share your experiences with and feel better.
Create a schedule
We can’t control what happens to us, so it is better to focus on the things we can control as a parent. Set a clear picture in your mind, a proper plan to achieve the goals for you and your children, in order to build a better future together.
You can start small by creating a daily routine. And eventually to draft long term goals like managing your money more effectively and improving your co-parenting relationship with your former partner, if required. Patrice Karst, the well known author of The Single Mother’s Survival Guide (Crossing Press, 2000), writes in her book that, “Having goals, no matter how modest, can keep your spirits up and keep you moving forward.”
Your schedule must include two things for sure:
– Some time to spend with your children.
– Some “Me Time” to exercise regularly, catch up with friends or even seek professional counselling from a parenting expert.
