Step parenting, the one where it takes more than two to tango

Just when we thought parenting is the toughest job in the world, imagine the situation of a step-parent. It is a complicated endeavour to step into a family that already established its roles, and to develop a bond that’s already fraught with either non-acceptance or disenchantment from the other members of the family and especially the children. A step-parent is already starting on the back-foot and it could be scary, tricky and at times also infuriating.

But it also means to have a second shot at love, acceptance and family life. A family with a step parent and step children can lead a harmonious life when all the stakeholders play their part with empathy and respect. Here’s how…

Blurring old boundaries and building new bonds

When a new spouse enters the picture, they must create a sense of openness, to accept new things, new challenges and of course the new members of his/her family. It is important to develop a warm, friendly communication with the children of their partners. This can be done by showing interest in their lives, their interests and their needs.

This will be possible when the biological parent in the family acts as the bridge between the children and the new spouse. They help calm the frayed nerves, clear the confusions, fill the gaps in communication and build a common ground. It has to be a combined effort from both the partners, keeping in mind the overall wellbeing of the child.

And in cases of remarriage, it is advisable that the new spouse build a healthy relationship with the former partner. This, because children are hardwired to lean towards their biological parents for their needs. So, alienating them from their lives would be detrimental to the new relationship.

Establishing respect and admiration for each other

Another important factor to ensure a smooth transition of the new spouse into the family is to establish respect for each other, between the parent and the child. The new partner should respect the boundaries of the child, make efforts in being present in their lives, but not being intrusive. Yes, it is tough in the beginning, but with time and practice, the mutual admiration will only blossom.

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6 Tips for Parents of Children with Special Needs

The birth of a child brings joy into the lives of the parents and their families. But not every child is born in the healthiest form. They require special needs, attention and care while growing up, and a large majority of parents in India do not have the knowledge or the resources for it.

Our qualified parenting counsellors in Ahmedabad at We Positive Parenting understand these challenges and have come up with a list of 6 tips for parents with children requiring special needs, to help them in their upbringing and make their lives easier and harmonious.

1. Ask for help

You may have heard it, but it is worth repeating. ‘Asking for help does not mean you are weak’. Rather than struggling to figure out your child’s special needs all by yourself, seek help. Open up and talk about it to gather more and more information. There are high chances of you realising that your parenting techniques were right all along, but all you just needed more information on it and some support to sail through.

And the best way to get started is by seeking help from a parenting counsellor or guide. They are equipped with the knowledge, experience and resources to help you and your child.

2. Join support groups

We know, it gets frustrating, when people with absolutely no idea about your struggles as a parent of a special needs child start giving you advice on how to do parenting.

Knowledge grows when knowledge is shared. And challenges become easier to achieve when they’re shared with like-minded people. We always encourage parents with special needs to be part of various support groups where other parents with similar challenges and struggles come together.

Joining such groups or communities will make you realise that other people are also walking the same path as you. This will help you discover their coping strategies and new resources. Moreover, you will also get support from other parents who ‘actually get it’ and learn how to seek hope and strength by their stories.

You can feel free to get in touch with our parent counsellors at We Positive Parenting to know about such groups for parenting in Ahmedabad or in your city of residence.

3. Take breaks

Taking a break does not mean you do not care for your child. Your body just needs to take rest regularly as mental exhaustion is a thing. Don’t over work yourself and give yourself a chance to recuperate. Be it drinking coffee in silence, be it reading a book or be it just lying down to rest. Recharge yourself by doing what you like.

You can even put your child in a stroller or wheelchair and take a walk with a friend. Both you and also your kid will benefit from the change of the scenery. And it gets refreshing to break away from the monotony of you everyday tasks

The parenting guides at We Positive Parenting have also created special programmes to help parents of children with special needs to learn how to deal with stress and the additional responsibilities.

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